Heavy Burden but Beautiful Gift

I've been mentioning that we have some serious issues going on. And I've been really stressed trying to keep my head above water, stay positive for my team and well, just stay focused.

This week I had to have a very difficult meeting with my team. They are pissed. And they have every right to be. They have questions that, frankly, I don't have answers for. I know that the solutions are being looked into. I know they are close to being at a final decision and I know that I'll know more next week.

Not really a strong foundation for a difficult meeting. And the team was making sure I knew they were comin' at me. That's ok. It's my job. What I do isn't all about the celebration, it's taking the hard shots and finding answers and getting us where we need to be. I drive the bus, according the the GPS I get from the company. So I sorta look like I'm in control but we all know I'm not.

Anyway......being me, I decide we're just gonna deal with all this head on. I redid my entire meeting to center around the issues. Minimal me telling them, maximum me answering their questions. And that meant if I didn't know, I told them.

We have a pretty good relationship for the most part. The over riding understanding is I care about them. I care about their families. I care about the quality of their lives. They know that. They do. Sometimes they piss me off so bad I just about can't stand it. And I know it's mutual. But.....when it's all said and done, for the most part, they trust ME.  And I know I can depend on them to give me their best efforts.

So, I just put it all out there. I addressed the questions I knew they had right up front. I didn't flinch, I didn't dodge. I stood there and took it. I took it all. And when it was all said and done, even though I didn't have all the answers, I addressed their concerns and when they walked away I got "Thank You"s from the majority of them. Oh, they still aren't happy. I didn't fix a damn thing. I simply told them what I could.

As I was walking back into my office after the emotional 2 hours, one of the guys stopped me. And then proceeded to give me the greatest compliment I've ever received. "Miss Tammi. I know you'll take care of me. I know you have my back. I'm not worried. You'll make it right."

When I close my eyes at night I still see him standing there and hear him saying those words. I am overwhelmed by that.  And he's right, at least he's right that that's what I WANT to do. Here's my fear.....what if I can't? I don't know the plan. I don't know how and what the company is going to do. What if it isn't enough? What if it is just a bad plan?

I'm praying every minute that whoever is making these decisions they make the right ones. That what ever they come up with is the best thing for everyone. Because when it's all said and done, I don't want to let these folks down. That kind of trust is a gift I'm not willing to give up.